Monday, August 22, 2011

stuck and sleepy

Can't sleep lately. I go thru periods of where I am exhausted to days where I am fine with three to four hours of sleep. I went sleep this morning at 5 am and was up by 930...

I want to clean everything in my path, throw out stuff I am not using or cannot wear. But I cannot bring myself to go thru his things and weed them out. It would be like throwing a part of him out. I would love the closet space but every familiar piece of clothing is just too painful to part with. So its tucked away in plastic boxes taking up space never to be worn by him again. I thought about having quilts made for the children but I don't know... I told him that it was okay to go but I still haven't let go. And I'm stuck between wanting to hold onto what I had and wanting to move forward in hopes of experiencing sometype of love again.

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